It is common for couples to have mismatched libido. This happens when one person has a higher sex drive than the other person. This can occur throughout the relationship or change from week to week depending on what’s going on in their life or changes with their body. Some couples can adjust to fluctuations in their partner’s libido; however, mismatched libidos can sometimes create feelings of rejection and tension.

The good news is that it doesn’t mean that there is a problem with either person or the relationship.  There is just an imbalance that can be improved through communication and understanding.  The most important thing to do is not take it personally. Usually, when one partner doesn’t want to have sex, it’s not because there is something wrong with the other person.  A person’s libido can be influenced by physical and mental health, medication, stress, and even self-esteem.  Communicating the reasons why you’re not in the mood can prevent hurt feelings and potentially find solutions where everyone is satisfied. 

Sex always doesn’t mean penetration. Sometimes what we need is intimacy. To be held, loved, appreciated. The partner with the higher libido should consider that to maintain a sexual connection with their partner.  Either way, communication, an open mind, creativity, and compromise where both partners are happy is the goal. 

xo Dr. Horton